Pomp and Circumstance

Guess who graduated from therapy today??

I was still at 120, but she says I'll still get another 5 or so back without any additional work, as swelling subsides and things settle in.  We talked a little about exercises that I can do going forward to make sure I don't slip back (my big fear).  I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Jim (my usual guy) so I think I will stop by there on Monday to tell him thanks.  Oddly, I will miss him, even though he routinely caused me pain.  :)

So, where do we go from here?  I think I am settling nicely in New Kneeland.  I like it here, and I know it's only going to get better.

At Last

There is only one word for therapy today:

GOOOOOOOAL!!!!!

Bend is, indeed, 120. I have one more scheduled appointment on Friday so I don't know if I'll be done then or not.  Tomorrow is eight weeks.

Hamstring machine was on 67, leg press machine was 90, sled was 85.  I had to do the steps up frontward and sideways, but they didn't really hurt, they were just tiring.  I got kind of a cramp in the back of my knee but it stretched out OK and it doesn't hurt now.

Seven Weeks

Supposed to have 45 minute appointment today, but he needs to leave early, so it's only 30.  Measurement was still 116.  I am bummed, though he says every doctor will tell you that it will be 6 months to a year before you feel it's at 100%.  Yeah, yeah, whatever.

A couple of new things today - rocking back and forth and side to side on the wobble board (how do they dream these things up, anyway?), and pushing and pulling a "sled" across the room.  The sled is like a lawnmower with no wheels.  It had 70 lbs plus the weight of the sled.  I could have sworn it was at least 200.  I had to do it three times.  Hamstring machine was on 50, leg press was on 80 - he actually made me sweat today!

Whatever

Therapy today - bend was 116.
They changed all of my remaining appointments to 45 minutes (from 30) because that girl doesn't think there's enough time to get everything done.  My copay is the same, so why not? Nothing else was new.

Small Victories

I changed my mind yesterday and went to the pool anyway.  Only stayed 45 minutes, but it was productive.  I'm so excited because, at least in the hot tub, I can get on my knees!  I can also squat way down.  One thing I do is sit on the steps of the hot tub and see how far I can pull my feet back on the step below, the goal being to get my heel to touch the back of the step, as I can do with my other leg.  I hadn't been able to get my big toe back past the edge of the step, but this afternoon - ta daaaa - I did it!  I hope it translates into a good number at therapy tomorrow.

Six Weeks

Physical "day off" today. I'm sore from Monday, and therapy yesterday, and swimming yesterday.  I'm finding myself in a weird position.  Being so much better in most ways, the remaining "not that much better" makes me think I'm never going to finish getting better, that I will never get the rest of the flexibility back, etc.  Make sense?  Even a little? But yesterday I had him show me where 65 degrees, my starting point for therapy, was.  Six weeks ago, that was the best I could do.  It felt then like 112 feels now - but I got beyond it.  And I will get beyond this.  It's just 21 more to match my other knee.  I keep wondering what it will be like in a year, when this tightness will be (hopefully) a dim memory.  Will I be plotting the demise of knee #2 by then?  I will have been to Spain and back again by then (finances willing, of course).  One of the best things to come out of this is to find out that fixing my knee also fixed my ankle.  Remember those days when I had to ice my knee and my ankle because of pain and swelling?  Since surgery, I have had no pain or swelling in the ankle at all!

Geecmom Returns

Yesterday was really great!  I spent the afternoon in Champaign caching with niece Courtney (our third annual caching day).  The first cache we went to required a 1/4 mile walk (and back) and it was totally pain free!  I am still so amazed by that.  In all, we were out about five hours and did 14 caches.  One was down a creek embankment with weeds and vines and uneven, sloping ground and it didn't make me cry.  It didn't even hurt!  Remember when downhill slants/ramps were my worst thing, guaranteed to induce bone-grinding agony?  No more! But five hours of driving and walking yesterday didn't bode well for therapy this morning.

I'm tired, and my measurement is still 112.  Oh well.  We do a lot of talking about things, pretty much confirming what I have been wondering about, like the quad taking so long to stretch because the knee was so bad for so long that it is really tight, and that it makes sense that my ankle flexibility is better now that my knee is better.  You know, that old "foot bone connected to the ankle bone, the ankle bone connected to the leg bone" thing.  Everything affects everything else.

Hamstring machine was at 50, leg press was 75.  He was pleased that I had been doing stairs yesterday, too (no choice - Courtney lives on the 3rd floor), with no problems.  In my head, I would like to be done with therapy before election day (the end of my current schedule).

New Challenges

Today was the first time in over a week (except therapy on Tuesday) when I have had to take anything for knee-related pain.  It doesn't feel very good today, so I'll shower and heating-pad it until time for therapy.  Yesterday I would have said that I expect to be at 110 today.  Now I am not at all sure.  What happened?? Dunno.  It felt great last night.  I wasn't on it yesterday.  Discouraging, though, and I have that girl today, so it's less likely that I will make my goal, anyway.  :(

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Woot woot!  112!  (See, what do I know?) True to what I expected, when she first measured it, she said it was 106.  But this time I said, "Nah, I can do better than that" so she let me get set and tried it again. Yay!  Other activities included the half-cylinder thing, slant board (which was a big issue with my ankle, but simple for this), two kinds of balance boards (front to back and side to side, which was harder).  The tough one was the BOSU ball. I had to step onto the ball side with my bad leg, step down the other side with my good leg, then step back over.  The step down was a little ouchy, but the step back was darn near impossible.  I was basically pulling myself up on the parallel bars to get back.  Then leg press and hamstring machines, then stretching.

She had never seen anyone use an iPod during stretching before.  That's kind of surprising to me, but it does work.  I've used it for years at the dentist, too (the longer they drill, the louder I turn it).  "Healing rain, it comes with fire...."  Sometimes that's very true.

Real Progress

Today, as the therapist was stretching me, he said, "105 or better".  I had my iPod on, so I turned it down and asked if that's what he wanted or what he thought.  He said it was what he wanted but also what he thought it would be.  Reality was even better - 107!  That's only 3 degrees from their standard goal of 110.  Next time I have that girl, though, so I don't know if I will make it then.  The swimming/walking is really helping!

The weight on the hamstring machine was raised to 47, and the leg press was raised to 75, I think.  He was pleased that I was doing so much in the pool (I showed him my notes about what I had been doing), but I don't think I will go today.  Three days in a row might be too much, and I have a few other things to get done today (including a nap, I think.

Side note: my original plan with the iPod was to listen to different things, whatever suited at the time.  I have settled, though, on a single song that I listen to every time - Healing Rain by Michael W Smith.  It is five minutes long, which is how long the stretches are, to start with, but the lyrics also help me get through the really tough parts ("healing rain, it comes with fire, so let it burn and take us higher").  It always reminds me that, yeah, it is hurting now but I can get through it.  It won't last forever. I wonder if the therapist can hear that I am only listening to one song.  :)

Slow Progress

Feeling really great, and the front of my knee seems less tight.  But when I try to increase the bend, my thigh muscle still seems so uncomfortable.  I'm sure it's getting better in tiny stages, but I wish it was more noticeable day to day.

Therapy is at 9:30 in the morning, so we will see.  I haven't been taking really any pain stuff lately.  I will do so tomorrow, though, for therapy.  I've also stopped taking the Vistaril.  With my increased activity level, I fall asleep easily, anyway, and I think I actually sleep better.

Pool Problems Begin

When I went to the pool today, the hot tub was quite a bit less than hot.  The pool was chilly, too, though I warmed up as I walked.  Later, even the shower was cold.  Oddly, there was a notice posted that the water was off in the building on Oct 3 for installation of a new water heater.  Hmm.  The shower got warm for a couple of minutes, then went cold. I reported it to the front desk, but I'm not sure how much they will care about it since it's closing in three weeks for the remodel, anyway.  It would suck if they left it that way for the next three weeks, though.

Today I really concentrated on walking.  I was trying to take an exaggeratedly high step to stretch the thigh muscle through the whole step (like our old marching band steps, back in the olden days when they didn't yet know the more humane roll step that they use now).  It seems looser now than it was, but we will see how it feels in the morning.

Ouchie Birthday to My Knee

Happy one month birthday to my knee!

Therapy went well today.  Slant board, stair stepping (regular stairs, not lower ones), hamstring curl machine (40 lbs), leg press machine (70 lbs), then stretching.  The combination of the iPod and a Norco taken an hour before therapy really helped.  My measurement today was 103!  The most painful thing is when he presses down on my knee to try to get it flat, particularly if my ankle is on a block.  It feels like it will snap in half backwards, and I find myself resisting it instead of letting it stretch.  He assures me that in all of the years he has done this, he has never, ever snapped someone's knee in half backwards.  But....you know.... not yet.

I got my hospital bill the other day - $39,383.74.  Of that, I will pay $300.  I will also pay a $100 copay for the CT scan, and a $500 copay for the surgeon, and copays for the therapy ($25/per session).  There may be some random smaller ones, still, but all in all, I am incredibly lucky that I have such great insurance.

Water Therapy

I saw John, the PA who assisted with my surgery, instead of Novotny because he was operating today.  He gave me the cutting jigs that were custom-made for my bones as a weird little souvenir.  They actually have my name engraved on them.  He showed me on a model how they were put on, and how the cuts were made.  All was well, and I go back in two months for more xrays.  I asked the all-important question - can I swim?  OK, I was pretty sure the answer would be yes, so I had my suit on under my clothes.  It was OK'd, and he said the hot tub wouldn't hurt, either.  YAY!!!!

I could hardly wait to get out to the gym.  I had to unpause my membership, which seemed to take forever, and then I was free!  I didn't take my goggles or any other equipment, since I didn't intend to swim swim.  I had designed a walking/stretching routine for myself that I could do in the shallow side of the pool, which took maybe an hour all together (including a 10 min warmup in the hot tub first, and another 15 min afterward).  It felt so good to be in the water, though, that it was hard to not do more.  It wouldn't have been very smart, though, since I have therapy in the morning.

After I was good and warmed up, I tried a few laps of breaststroke with a (gentle) frog kick.  It was a little tight, sure, but none of that grinding pain that I had before.  Hardly any actual pain, in fact.  I had to keep reminding myself that this was my first day back.  I'm curious to see how I feel tomorrow and how it will affect therapy. Better? Worse? I'm taking my iPod with me tomorrow because the pain of the stretching is getting to a point where I can't "breathe" it away.  I'm hoping the iPod will distract me enough to make it more bearable.

Turns out that the pool will be closed from Oct 27-Dec 3 for a major remodel.  I can refreeze my membership again then if I can't do anything else at the gym (like the machines) by then.

Insight:
Overall, this whole process has been so "nothing", compared with breaking my ankle, that if a day ever comes that I need the other one done, I will not hesitate to do it.  Looking back, it kind of bothers me how much time I spent trying to deny this problem, or minimizing it, while it obviously was so bad that I constantly mentioned it in journals, emails, etc.  I should have accepted that, like a cavity, it can't get better unless it is fixed.  It will not heal on its own.

Four Weeks

My thighs are feeling the machine work from yesterday, but not terribly.  I just wish I could get the bend better - it still feels so tight!  I have quit trying to "test" it at night because it's always swollen then (or at least it feels like it is, but doesn't look it).

I've been massaging the scar several times a day with the oil, and I can really see a lot of difference in how it looks.  I weighed myself this morning and was kind of astonished to find out that I have gained nothing, in spite of eating anything I want, and being basically a slug for the past month.  I guess healing uses a lot of calories - but I better get the random eating under control before it does start to matter again.  Of course, I do expect to be adding swimming to my exercise routine (tomorrow!!!).

Dr appt - 9:30 xrays
                9:45 doctor
               10:45 Gold's Gym pool   :)

One other little note:
Yesterday, on the hamstring machine, I felt a clicking in the knee, when moving both up and down. I asked the therapist about it and he said that it might go away but some people "will never again be able to sneak up on anyone", but even that is normal. So I guess we will just see what happens as time goes by.

I keep finding myself going longer and longer between pain medication. It's 3:30 p.m.and I have had nothing today - but it's time.

New Therapies

Therapy report:
Bend 98 degrees
Today, after the stepper and probably the most painful stretching I have had so far, I started some strength training.  First was 30 reps on a machine where you push your own weight up an incline.  (The Gold's Gym version of this is a machine where your upper body stays still and you push a plate (with adjustable weight) with your feet, from a bent position to a straight one). Then was the hamstring curl machine.  You sit with your thighs clamped down and your feet under a bar, and you raise your lower legs to straight, then let them down slowly. Then some cone touches (2 min.), some cylinder rocking (heels touching the floor, then toes), then 2 min of stepping up onto a step, bad leg first.  That one was a little uncomfortable.  They say that that is the last thing you get back all the way - stairs.

After ice, I made a new series of appointments.  He says most people are in therapy 8-12 weeks (Wed will be four for me), and I'm guessing I'll be more at the 8 end of that range.  I had to change one appointment because the time was too close to my IRS test appointment in Peoria on Oct 30, so I will have therapy at the should-be-illegal hour of 8 a.m. that day.  That will actually give me time for a little nap and some review before heading to Peoria (have to be there at 12:30 for the 1:00 test).

Downs and Ups

I'm a little concerned with how inflexible my knee has seemed recently.  Yesterday, it was probably reacting to therapy the day before, and yesterday I made several trips up and down the stairs (to and from my real bedroom). This morning it just seems really uncooperative.

OH, how I want to soak in the hot tub!  I just know that would help so much!  Come on Thursday!! I will be taking my gym bag with me to the doctor appointment, in hopes of going straight to the gym from there.  Would it be overly optimistic to actually wear my suit under my clothes?

The scar is looking amazingly good, thanks to the Vit E massages.  I wish I could get a good picture of it.  The red parts of the scar are interspersed with fully healed places, and the bumpiness is less pronounced.  It is still kind of uncomfortable to touch, but it gets better as the massage continues.  I have discovered that I can't wear my yoga pants very long at a time because, even though they are very stretchy, they touch me all the time.  Sweatpants, etc., don't touch my skin all the time.  The constant touch just becomes irritating, though maybe the slight compression is good for it?  I don't know.

Bye Bye Leg Bendy!

Therapy was strange today.
Instead of my regular guy, I had a girl who didn't stretch me nearly as hard, and as a result, my measurement was 94, down 3 from last time.  I am honestly not a bit worried about it because it feels so much better and I know if I had had my regular guy I would have done better.  Next time!

I got a phone call from the leg bendy machine guy, who wanted to pick up the machine.  My three weeks are up (+ two days).  He backdated the pickup date, in case BC/BS has an issue with the two extra days.  I'd be more worried that the leg bendy machine company would try to bill BC/BS for the days.

On Tuesday, I will be done with the regular aspirin and back to the lo-dose that I normally take.  So, gradually, things are going back to normal!

Three Weeks

Yesterday's therapy report:
Bend is 97, a big improvement over 90 the last two times.  I had lost about 4 of my steri-strips, but he pulled the rest of them off!  After some stretching (holy crap!!) and the measurements (my straightness was 5, down from 17 before surgery), we went to the parallel bars.  I had to two minutes of rocking back and forth on a half cylinder (foam roller cut in half), then two minutes of "marching" - touching alternate feet  to the tops of soccer cones, trying to step straight up with the bad leg, not swinging it out to the side to get it up there.  No real problems with either of those.  Then we worked on stairs of various heights.  Then he had me walk across the room and back twice. He says from the back, he would not be able to tell which leg had surgery - a huge compliment!!  From the front, of course, in my workout shorts, the long pink scar tipped him off.  :)  I left there feeling really good!  Other people who haven't seen me in a bit have said that I am walking well, too - better than before my surgery.  For some reason that surprised me.  I guess I never thought that I limped or showed pain, but I apparently did.  But now that I have thought about it......yeah, I remember that bent-over heavy limping that I used to call walking.  I realize that I am standing straighter, too.

The back of my knee suddenly feels normal.  The front of my knee is still tight.  The incision looks surprisingly clean and healed.  It's still a little lumpy and puckered, and he told me to use my Vitamin E oil to do a 2-thumb massage across the scar to help flatten it out. He told me it's still going to be swollen at the end of the day for awhile, just expect it.  He also suggested putting heat on it, then stretches and exercises, then ice.  I can not wait to get back in the pool!  I will wait for my doctor appointment on Oct 4, though.

Oh yeah, most of the thigh pain is gone.  There is still a "numb but not numb" area on the outside of the incision and some pain on the inside.  Massaging the scar is a little creepy.  The oil loosens all of the little staple scabs, so it feels gritty, and touching it makes it tingle.  I'm not sure if I am putting too much pressure on it or not enough.

One milestone - my first standing shower!  Up to now, I have been using a shower stool.  I probably could have done away with it sooner, but I was scared of slipping.  It's time to let it go!

Itching to Get Out

Yesterday, Austin and I went out for a little geocaching!  We ended up with one DNF and five smileys in about 90 minutes, but I was pooped.  Going to spend today doing nothing physical, but oh I want to swim so badly!!  Only one tape strip has come off so far, though, and until they are gone I cannot go back to the pool. My surgeon visit is still a week away, too, and I need his blessing.  I will content myself with some paperwork and coursework for the upcoming tax season instead.

Back to Basics

Therapy report - bending 90 degrees
When I complained that I felt like I wasn't making much progress, my therapist said I need to remember that just over two weeks ago, I basically had my leg cut in half, and that ortho surgeries aren't like other surgeries, where you feel better right away except for your incision.  OK, I get it - I'll shut up now.

Last night I slept great after a Norco and two Vistaril.  Maybe part of my problem is trying to skimp on the meds? At least at night, I will take what I'm told.  I really do feel good taday, so I hav eto be careful to not do too much.

Sleepless in Bloomington

Exhausted today.  Had a terrible night last night.  I actually tried to sleep just before midnight (early for me, lately). I thought I was comfortable, but couldn't settle on window open/closed or fan on/off.  Then my leg hurt.  Tossed and turned, slept in brief stretches.  Woke up at about 3:00 a.m. soaked with sweat.  Woke again at 6:00, to hear Kym in the shower.  My leg was killing me, so I took a Norco and went back to sleep till 8:30, then 9:00.  I finally got up about 9:15.  It's 11:30 now, and I'm desperate to sleep again.  Feel incredibly useless and lazy.

Ended up napping for about an hour around noon, then made an actual effort to do nothing for the rest of the day (isn't that what I did in the morning, too?).

Two Weeks

I have now been in New Kneeland for two weeks.  In most ways, it's been a much easier journey than I thought it would be.  I would never have guessed that I would be walking without a cane at this point.  In fact, I never got around to buying one, and now I don't think I will.

Pain - I guess understandably - is still an issue.  I really wish I could back off the Norco a bit more, but I guess that will come. Stamina is another thing.  I had a three hour meeting today, then picked up lunch, ate, then got on the machine.  I was so tired that I just shut it off and slept till Kym got home.  Now I'm waiting for Survivor to start, but I'm not sure I will make it through it.  And all I did was sit in a chair for three hours.

Tired.

Unstapled

The staples are no more!
When I got to therapy, I did the stepper for 10 minutes, then he took out the staples (which was really pretty painless).  He just kept exclaiming about how good it looks.  I can't say that myself because, before I saw it, he had covered the whole incision with steri-strips.  They will work themselves gradually in a week or so.  He said there are no open areas or seeping, even from the little staple holes.  He said there are usually a lot more staples (I had 28), and sometimes they take some of them out before you leave the hospital.  That's what mine look like, he says, but these are all the staples I had.

After the steri-strips were on, he stretched me (ow!!) then I got my heavenly ice blanket. There was a woman there who is four weeks out (I'm just at two tomorrow), and her measurement was only 115.  And she was depending heavily on a cane.  That made me feel a lot better, because 92 and 115 don't seem that far apart, and I'm two weeks behind her.

Overdoing It

Machine last night was at 92, but at night I had to turn it down to 88, and even at that I could only manage it for 30 minutes. I took two Norco but was still unable to get to sleep until after 2:00 a.m. I just can't find a comfortable position.  Then when I finally do fall asleep, I sleep so deeply that my leg almost refuses to move the next day. Still, day by day, it improves. Maybe it would help if I didn't do the machine last thing at night, just like you're not supposed to exercise right before bed. Hmmm. (Sometimes the light comes on slowly, like a CFL bulb, not an incandescent. :) )

I'm still trying to get off the Norco during the day, but I can't always manage it.  I maybe could by taking Advil instead, but I am not supposed to take that, and Tylenol doesn't do it for me reliably.  I have therapy tomorrow, and I am wondering if they will take out my staples.  Some look more than ready, others not so much.  I know I could make better progress with the bending once they are out, but it might not break my heart if they waited till Friday.

I have a four hour election judge class tonight.  I may have to sit in the back so I can get up and move around - not sure how long I can comfortably sit in a chair at one time. I am now done with the second dose of Celebrex in the afternoon, so that's one less med to keep track of.  I have to go pick up a prescription for the Amoxicillin I need before my dental appointments now.  The surgeon has to write the first prescription at first, then later the dentist can do it. <shrug>  I have to take 2000 mg (that's FOUR capsules) an hour before any dental appointment.

9:30
Fortunately, my class got out a little early.  I say "fortunately" because my leg hasn't been this sore and swollen in days and days.   This proves that I really can't be working yet, if I can't sit for three hours without begin able to elevate and/or ice my leg.  Stuff like this always surprises me.  I think I'm feeling pretty good and I could be doing more, so I do, and I end up feeling terrible. I hope it will settle down before therapy tomorrow. It's not until 2:30, so I will skip the machine tonight and take it easy tomorrow morning,

DRIVING!!

Today I am a DRIVER!

I decided I would give it a try this weekend, and this afternoon seemed like the perfect time.  I drove over to Mom and Dad's and returned the walker, but no one was home, so I just left it there.  Then I went to Taco Bell.  Their drive lane just reopened a couple of days ago after being closed since July for remodeling.  The whole place is being renovated, and the dining room still won't be open for another month, they said.

Driving that small amount was enough to exhaust me, and I took a nap after I ate.  At dinner time I drove to Steak n Shake to meet Mom (everyone else is farming today).  When I got home, Kym met me at the door and said, "Since when are you driving??"  Busted!  :)  When she came home and the car was gone, she assumed I was somewhere with Chad.

Therapy Again

Therapy today was more like what I expected on Monday.  I spent 8 minutes on the seated stepper, then he stretched and bent my leg for, I think 45 minutes (not really, it was more like 15).  It was painful, but in a good way.  Then he put my legs on an incline and covered the new knee with an ice blanket that felt like heaven.  I got out about 12;20 - took longer because a woman had a medical issue of some kind that took everyone's attention.  The therapist says not to use the machine for more than an hour at a time, so I'll start back on it tonight.  Bend was 81 at therapy.

I refilled my Norco, more for the stockpile than for current need.  I also picked up some Pepto-type stuff, which I was desperate for last night (I almost woke Kym to go after some at 2:00 a.m.because I felt so crummy).  Hopefully, I will sleep better tonight.  I think my stomach wasn't ready for Chipotle.

Overall, I have felt a little swollen today, though the therapist says it isn't that swollen.  And even he said I have to remember that it's barely over a week since surgery.

Good Going

My thigh is SO much better today!  Because I feel so much better, I am cutting out the Norco today, too.  I am taking 600 mg of regular Tylenol instead.  Not sure what I will do at bedtime, though.  I did not set an alarm last night, and did fine without the nighttime pill.

I find it a little hard to believe that I'm doing so well so soon. I mean, I expected it not to be a big deal (well, I hoped it wouldn't be), but I'm not really sure I expected to be walking around unassisted at just a week out.  I know I'm not done, I have lot of therapy to do, and it isn't all going to be that easy.  Maybe this is a result of getting my leg as ready as I could beforehand.

All of my prep work has paid off so far - the "adaptations" to the bathroom and garage, the room being ready, the stockpiled catfood, all of it.  So - I done good!  :)

No machine tonight.  Therapy tomorrow, so we will see what happens.

One Week

My thigh pain was quite a bit better, so we will consider cutting the machine back further.  Mom and Dad came over (with Dairy Queen!), and she said her doctor said he thinks the jury is still out as to whether the machine really helps or not, anyway.  And it does make sense that I could be using the thigh muscle too much.  I decided to concentrate on the exercises and forget the machine (at least the full time).

Evening machine (because it was sitting there, making me feel guilty) (30 minutes) - 84

Adjusting

I woke up at 6:22 a.m. in excruciating pain - I had missed my 5:15 pill.  When I woke up next, it was 9:08.  It was my first day alone, since Kym went back to work.  I have been having terrible pain in my thigh.  It seems to me that using the machine so much might be making it worse (feels like overuse pain).  I know I need the machine for flexibility, but I wouldn't swim two hours at a time, 3 times a day, every day.  After talking it over with Dan, I think I will try cutting back on the machine time and see what happens.  I would like to be able to get off of the Norco, too.

There is some pretty colorful bruising showing up on the calf now, but it doesn't hurt.  After my shower, I left it unbandaged (after I put on my big girl panties and got accustomed to what it looked like - I don't do ooky very well, especially on myself).  I'm not using a cane or anything at home now.

Evening machine (1.5 hour) - 82

Therapy Begins

10;15 -  first therapy appointment
Not sure what I was expecting, but this wasn't it.  The therapist girl asked a lot of questions and did some measurements (my angle was 65, which seemed accurate since I was at 66 last night on the machine).  Then she took me to do a few minutes ("before we do some stretching") on the seated stepper machine.  She left me there for 10 minutes, then said, "OK, let's go make all of your appointments" and left me with the appt woman.  What happened to the stretching?

After therapy, Kym and I went to the store (love those little carts!).  Then we went home, where we discovered that the dog had gotten into a bottle of Advil SoftGels and had eaten an undetermined quantity of them.  Three hours and $117 later, he had had his stomach contents forcibly ejected (four times), examined, and flushed out.  He is now on two kinds of stomach medicine for the next two weeks.

Afternoon machine - 74
Night machine - 76

Progress

Tried a Vistaril last night.  Really loopy during the night, with weird dreams.  I kept, say, trying to pick up something in my dream, and I would wake up picking at my blanket or the edge of the bed. Talking to myself and waking myself up.  It was hard to be alert in the morning, after that.

During the morning, I accidentally walked around without the walker, carrying a bowl of cereal in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other.  The leg machine came unadjusted at some point, and I had to have Kym help me put it back together.  I will have it here for three weeks, then the guy will come and pick it up.

Morning exercises - after several frustrating days of no response on leg raises, I was able to do them completely unassisted today! Not pretty, but on my own!

Afternoon machine - 62

Starting a Routine

OMG. Best, shower. ever!!  The only bad thing was that the edges of the Post-It note curled up, so I couldn't reuse it, and I had to use my only other clean one.

Did my exercises, I absolutely CANNOT raise my leg from the bed, or raise the lower leg (when the knee is over a rolled towel).  Kym helps by supporting my heel, and by the last one or two, I can do it myself a little bit, but not much.

Afternoon machine - 56

Star

One of the nurses calls me the "star patient" because I am doing so well and am so undemanding and self-sufficient.  I have to get help to go to the bathroom (it's a rule) - that's non-negotiable.  At least they don't stay in there with me, like they said would happen. Only one grouchy old tech has even tried, and I told her I wouldn't be able to go (OK, that was a lie), and she backed off.

The nurses and techs have all been so nice, and I am loving the "room service".  Everyone who visits brings me diet Coke, too.

This morning they took off the heavy dressing and the Ace bandage that has engulfed my leg from hip to toes.  I have a lovely "Oompa Loompa orange" leg.  They put on what the nurse called a giant Post-It note bandaid.  Its adhesive is a soft gel that can be restuck.

Breakfast - scrambled eggs. cream of wheat, oj and coffee.

Occupational therapy helped me clean up and brush my teeth, and I put on a t-shirt in place of my gown.  The doctor said I will be allowed to shower while the staples are still in!  Really great news!

Spent two hours on the leg bendy machine, getting to 34.

Physical therapy - walked to the elevator, then she showed me how to do steps. "Up with the good, down with the bad" tells me which leg to use first.

Lunch - grilled cheese, Cheetos, salad

PT - walked to the elevator, around, and down the other side of the hallway.

Two more hours on the leg bendy machine -  got to 40  (the degree of bend is controlled with a wired remote that I control).  I am supposed to try to increase it gradually.  And I'm supposed to spend 6 hours a day on the machine, in three sessions.

Dinner - crispy chicken strips, salad, mashed potatoes & gravy, strawberry shortcake.

I was being released, along with a bunch of other people.  I told them my ride couldn't come until after 5:00, so they could take care of everyone else first.  I was picked up at 6:00, and was home and settled by 7:00.

Day Two

First night, I was so intensely, painfully thirsty.  I just couldn't get enough water or ice.  I thought maybe the IV was causing my thirst (what do I know?) but they said no.  Sometime after breakfast it started getting better, but it was a really long, uncomfortable night.  I kept putting in eyedrops because my eyes were dry, too, but they didn't help much. At one point, half asleep, I called the nurse because my IV was beeping - but it wasn't mine, it was in another room.  I kept finding myself talking in my sleep, and waking myself up.  Eventually, I did get some sleep.

In the morning I was allowed to order real food: scrambled eggs, cinnamon French toast, oj, and coffee.  Yum!  Then the physical therapy lady came in, and I went for my first walk down the hall. So weird - barely 24 hours after getting a new knee, and I was walking on it!  Then I sat up in a chair for a bit before getting on the leg bendy machine again.  It felt this day like I had been punched in the thigh, but I had no other pain, really.  My leg was a bit stiff, though.  I had to kind of perch on the edge of the chair to be comfortable.  Just before lunch they shut off the IV but left all the plumbing in place in case there was a need for it later.

Lunch was pizza, salad, and a brownie, then another round of hall walking, exercising, and sitting in a chair.  Novotny came in and I asked him about the thigh pain.  He thought it was probably more from the tourniquet they put on your leg during surgery.  The nurse said it was probably from the various unspeakable things (her words) that were done to me during surgery.  She said I wouldn't want to know, and she is right!  :)

Dinner was penne pasta with meat sauce (meh), salad, carrots, green beans.  Then I sat in the chair again until I had to go back on the leg bendy machine at 8:00.  Because of the thigh pain, the PT lady showed me how to use the gait belt to lift my leg into bed and into the machine.  There was just nothing I could do to lift it myself.  I can't even describe how I was trying, with everything in me, to move it but it just wouldn't go.  So frustrating - and scary because what if it didn't come back?  And it was annoying because I was comparing it to Day One when I could do everything, with no pain.  Stupid of me, I know.

Day One

We arrived at the hospital just before 7:00.
I think surgery started pretty promptly at 9:00.  But before that, I had to wipe down with these sticky wet wipes of antibacterial stuff - 3 packs, two wipes each, each for a different part of the body. Nasty.

I think I got back to my room just before noon. I don't really have any memory of going back to my room, though I have some memory from the recovery area. By 12:30, they had me on the leg bendy machine.  This is a device that slowly bends your knee and then straightens it.  I also had "puffers" on each leg, puffing alternately, that would inflate periodically to help prevent blood clots.  In addition, I had a blood pressure cuff on my arm that would randomly inflate. They all ran at different speeds, so I had the weird experience of having everything inflating, deflating, and moving all at once.  I never knew what was going to happen next, and in my happy place I found it quite entertaining.

At 1:30, I had my first go at walking - to the bathroom, whether I needed to or not.  At 2:00, they introduced me to my "new best friend", my spirometer.  It's a device that makes you take slow, even, deep breaths to prevent pneumonia.  6-8 times an hour, all day long

The food service is run like hotel room service.  You have a menu that you can order from anytime.  They gave me some water and jello to see if I could keep it down.  When I passed that test, they let me order dinner from the "full liquid" menu (more selections that the "clear liquid" menu).  I had cream of wheat, lemon ice, and coffee for dinner.  That seems weird, looking at it now, but at the time it was exactly what I wanted.

I was really comfortable thanks to the "Lombardi cocktail", a mix of drugs injected during surgery, which keeps you numb for hours and hours afterward.  Because I was pain free, I was able to raise my own leg and put it in the machine unaided, But it would be days before I could do it again.  By the next day, my leg felt like it weighed 1000 lbs and would not move.  I later had to use a strap to move my leg with my hands (hard to describe).  I didn't have, or need, a pain pump, just Norco (like Vicodin) and Celebrex at intervals.

THE Day

12:51 a.m.

Guess what?  Can't sleep.  I'm getting up at 5:30 to shower, etc.  I thought that with the aid of a Vicodin, I could nod off, but no.  At least I don't have to worry about not getting enough sleep.  I can catch up tomorrow (I mean later today).

I'm not scared, not anxious, not worried.....just waiting.  Mom will be here at 6:30 to get me.  My kids will be working, as I requested.  Chad is tasked with bringing me an icy cold, fully leaded bottle of diet Coke when he comes up in the afternoon.  Apparently, they only have the caffeine free kind at the hospital, and that just won't do!  :)  Let's go!

AFTER

The next few entries are reconstructed from minimal, sketchy notes that I kept along the way on my phone.

Lying Awake

3:12 a.m.
Lying awake - again - wondering about the leg bendy machine, and how much the whole thing will hurt, and what all I have left to do, and a thousand other things..... All of this time I have been worried about paint and carpet and cleaning, focused on everything but my knee itself, while the days slipped away, one by one, until only three remain.  Most of my questions will have answers in the next few days, I know.  But some won't.

Five Days Out

OK, the walker situation is sorted.  I got the one I used when I broke my ankle (from Mom and Dad's).  I know it fits where I need to go, and I can keep the fancy one around at the house for in case my friend visits so she can see it and think I am using it.  Mom says I won't need it long, anyway.

I'm down to the really small, though important, stuff - stocking up on groceries and cat supplies, haircut, setting up things like a power strip so I can have all of my rechargeable stuff by my bed, etc.

I can no longer take Advil or use my NSAID topical stuff until after surgery.  On Monday I will put on my scopalamine patch.  I have to go have my blood typed and cross-matched tomorrow.  It's getting real, people!

Pre-op Day

Tuesday (8-21) was my pre-op day.
First, I met with the therapist at McLean County Ortho.  We went over the exercises and they measured my current ability to bend and straighten the knee.  That day I could not get to 0 (straightening) - I got 17 degrees.  I don't know that she said what the bending measurement was.  My first therapy appointment will be just five days after surgery! And actually, therapy will start on day one. Supposedly, they get you up within a few hours after surgery.  I couldn't make an appointment for the therapy because they were having computer issues, so I have to call them back next week.

In the afternoon, I had my pre-op testing and new knee class at the hospital.  It was interesting.  I sat in the room, and everyone came to me.  Lab came and drew two vials of blood, the anesthesia guy came and asked a bunch of questions, then the EKG lady came in.  After that it was time for my class.

The class was really informative and helpful.  We got really nice zippered 3-ring binders with all of our exercises, procedures, rules, some sticky notes, a pen, a calendar/schedule, and a day-by-day guide to what will happen in the hospital.  We also got a set of exercise clothes - shorts and a t-shirt.  We are supposed to take our binders with us to the hospital.  I got to see the actual pieces that are installed.  It sort of both reassured me and scared me a little.  They take less bone off than I thought, but they still take off bone, you know?  They also gave us some special soap to shower with the night before and the morning of surgery.

After the class, I had to go get a chest xray but I'm not sure why, since not everyone did.
So, it's actually going to happen.  As it gets closer, I am actually having some real....I don't know....fears, worries, whatever.  OK, I'm scared, and it was really lonely being by myself at the class when everyone else was with their "coach".  Kym will be available 24/7 through the weekend and possibly Monday, though she doesn't have to commit to that, so we will see.

I picked up a shower chair and fancy walker I am borrowing from a friend, but I discovered that the walker won't fit through the space between the dishwasher and the corner of the fridge (my route into the house) because it is wider than standard.  It also won't work well in the bathroom, so....back to the drawing board on that.

CopayUpdate

The CT copay stands alone, it turns out.  I will have an additional copay of $300 for the hospital.  Oh, well.  I'm still better off than a whole host of other people.

The room is coming along, but still have a number of things to do.  They are small things, though.  Physically, I'm getting to the point where I just want to get it over with so it can start feeling better.  Now I find myself trying to bend it more, like I'm trying to rehab it.  Then I realize that it isn't going to get better that way. And new knee or not, I may never again be able to stretch my quads so far that I can touch my butt with my heel (not that I really need to do that).  What it tells me, though, is that I will work it afterward in the same way - unconsciously stretching and bending all the time - which is good.

I received two more votes for "do the exercises like they tell you" from a couple of people at BCPA.  In spite of being more ready to get this done, I am still a little anxious about it.  I have never been in the hospital overnight, except when I have had babies.  As for the pain, I can handle that.  And I can use both legs, no crutches.  So why am I scared, when the recovery seems like it will be way easier than my ankle?  Is it because I'm afraid that I might be minimizing it and will be unpleasantly surprised?  I don't know.

I got an email from HJ, my "knee buddy", today.  At five weeks after surgery, they say he is at the six-week point, and can bend the knee to 128 degrees (120 was his goal).  In addition to the Vitamin E oil he suggested for the scar (after it is healed over), he said I should get an 8" ball to use for therapy - not sure for what, exactly, but I found one that will work.

Copay

I got a bill today from Bloomington Radiology for $100 - copay for the CT scan.  I wasn't aware that there was a copay for radiology (there didn't use to be) so I will call the insurance to ask about it.  Correction:  the bill was from the hospital, since the CT was done there.  Is this my only copay for the hospital?  Maybe so.

One Month Countdown

One month from tomorrow is my "big day".  I have done a lot in the past month to get the room ready, but there remains so much to do, and I am beginning to feel the pressure of the looming deadline.

I am still ambivalent (though less so) about the surgery.  There have been days when it has been so painful, sometimes coming on suddenly, sometimes the grinding pain, sometimes the swollen feeling that radiates down to my ankle.  But other days it has been downright OK.  I need almost no Advil, I don't limp.  Those are the days that I think maybe I really don't need to do this yet.  Maybe I'm being overdramatic.  What was I thinking?  I know, though, that those days are just illusions - in fact, I usually figure that out before the day is over.

Standing is hard, and it makes me feel so old and useless.  I used to stand all day at work.  Yes, my legs got tired, and yes, my feet hurt, but I did it.  The standing issue is partly why it is taking me so long to get the bedroom done.  I just can't stand long enough to get much done.  I feel like I'm being lazy, but it's all I can do.

We have been discussing creating a platform outside the door from the kitchen to the garage to take the place of the step that is there now.  It would basically create a wider step going into the kitchen.  Like one that a walker could fit on.   The one that is there now is so narrow that I don't know if I could manage it, and the front door, with no handrail and one step that needs to be jacked back up, is out of the question.  I already have a grab bar at the back door, anyway, from when I broke my ankle.

I have a list of a dozen projects that need to be completed before The Day, and I need to be a bit more methodical about getting one thing done before starting another.  But I just feel so scattered, almost panicky.  But if I don't make better progress, the panic will be real.  The deadline is real.

More Wisdom

8. Order the t-shirt and shorts that they give you at the hospital a size bigger than usual because they run small.  -- Mom

9.  Get a temporary handicapped placard from the DMV now, while it's painful.  You'll need it afterward, anyway. -- Dad

Today was....uh...interesting.  I had my CT scan this morning.  It was an experience.  They put my foot on a folded towel, which kind of left my knee suspended in the air.  Not much, obviously,  but enough that it became pretty painful, especially since I couldn't move it.  At least it was over quickly.

Then I went out to pick up my handicapped placard (I picked up the form from the doctor yesterday).  On the way back toward my house, on a busy one-way street, my car broke down (tie rod, it turns out).  I had to wait in the 100 degree heat for the tow truck, with cars honking all around me.  Fun times!  So I now have a new handicapped placard.... oh, and a calendar full of new appointments, thanks to the letter I received from the doctor's office today.  They made appointments for me with therapy, my own doctor for a heart/lung check, hospital for lab/EKG, my "new knee" class at the hospital, and the surgeon for post-op followup. Along with that, they sent prescriptions for Celebrex and a scopalamine patch. I'm supposed to put the patch behind my ear 48 hours before surgery (for nausea).  They also sent a paper saying that from now on, I will need to take amoxicillin before any dental appointments.  Hadn't known that.  I wonder who will prescribe it - the dentist, or the surgeon?  (EDIT - dentist).

I am pooped and my knee is throbbing, so I'm headed for bed. A lot accomplished today, but a lot of problems, hassle, and pain, too.

Independence Day

I got a note this morning from HJ, who was at Vaughantown with me. He had his first knee replacement two days ago, and his second is scheduled for about the same time as mine, depending on how well the first one goes.  He makes it sound like it was no big deal and that it's "great to feel young again".  Well, that's certainly encouraging, though after only two days I doubt that he does. Maybe he has some really good drugs!!

I was looking at my Spain pictures this morning and came across one of Retiro Park in Madrid. I had planned to spend time there but never actually got there on foot because of my knee (I saw it from the hop on, hop off bus tour).  I was standing on a corner, with the park a couple of blocks away on my left, and the hotel about the same distance down the street. My knee was grinding, and even though I really wanted to go to the park, and I had the time, I just couldn't face walking there and back and then on to the hotel.  Instead, I walked back to the hotel and took a bath. I never want to have to choose like that again, and use my precious vacation time to sit around the hotel because I hurt too badly.

Wisdom accumulated so far:

1.  You have to have your head right before doing this. You have to be sure going in that this is what you want to do.    -- Mom

2.  Start the post-op exercises as soon as you can.  Don't wait for the first therapy appointment.   -- Mom

3.  If you are having a bad knee day (with the "original equipment") go down stairs backwards.  It looks funny, but it uses different muscles and won't hurt as bad.  -- HJ

4.  Learn the post-op exercises before surgery so you will know how they are supposed to go.  -- Mom

5.  Build up your leg as much as you can before surgery.  -- random person at the pool

6.  Take a pain pill before therapy.  You don't get extra points because it hurts. -- Mom

7.  How many things have you not done because it hurts? If it's affecting your quality of life, you need to do something about it. -- Dan

I feel like I at least have a road map now.  There is a destination, and a date to be there.  I know what comes next.  With a list of tasks to accomplish between now and then I'll be well occupied through the summer.  I'm just still struggling a little with that "getting your head right" part.

Where It Begins

Bee's knees.
Take a knee.
Knee to the groin.
Down on one knee.
Hands and knees.
Knee-high by the 4th of July.
Knee replacement.

Wait....what? Knee replacement?  Me?  But I'm just barely (barely!) 56!  But....

My recent trip to Spain was great - lots of seeing & doing & talking & eating & walking - and limping & hurting & consuming mass quantities of Advil. For a couple of days after I got back it seemed better.  But by Thursday of that week, I could tell it really wasn't. I called Novotny's office and was lucky to get an appointment for the following day.

I was sent for xrays since it has been over a year since they were last done.  Oddly, they were no better than last time - can you imagine?!  He told me, once again, that I really need a new knee.  I am really not willing to consider that right now.  It just seems like I am too young.

I was telling him that I have a new symptom, a feeling of swelling (but nothing visible) that is sometimes so bad that it feels like my leg is going to explode.  Not all the time, but when it is there, it is really bad.  So bad it makes me want to cry, desperate to make it stop!  I've noticed that it happens after I swim, unless I ice it right away when I get home.  He said I have what's called a Baker's cyst, which leaks and fills the joint with fluid.  Because it's been a couple of years since I last had one, he said a cortisone shot might help.

Ow.  Easily the most painful one I've ever had, but it started helping almost immediately.  I asked - only half-kidding - about the possibility of a cortisone IV, but he said no.

For three weeks, all was well.  The knee only hurt occasionally, I swam without pain.  Then week four began.  Almost as quickly as it had gotten better after the shot, it all went bad. I think I kind of tried to deny it, but when I walked into Meijer and had to stop, halfway to the back of the store, to let the intense pain wash over me, I knew I needed to go back to the doctor.

In the couple of days until I could get in, I agonized over the options.  I had read a little about Baker's cysts, and it said they don't remove them because they just come back.  But what if they don't come back for five years?  Couldn't that at least get me a little older before I have to consider anything else?  How about they just remove it and see?

However - that was not an option. He said I could either try the gel-type stuff that they inject, or get a new knee.  When I started to say, once again, that I didn't want that, he said, "I don't know what you want me to tell you."  I said I wanted him to tell me he had a magic wand he could wave to make it all better.  The magic wand, it turns out, is called an "artificial knee".  So I said OK.  Kind of.

They gave me a packet of information and told me what the process would be, then I went home to mull it all over.  I will have a CT scan that will be used to create a custom guide to be put on my leg in surgery to determine the exact placement of the hardware.  It takes six weeks to make the guide after the CT.

I spent about a week thinking about the best possible timing, still halfway unsure that I really wanted to do it at all.  Then I had a couple of really bad days.  I had worked a show at BCPA (Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts), spending about 2.5 hours, total, on my feet.  Still, by the end of the show, I could barely make it to my car, only a block away.  I had to stop twice on the way, and then I wasn't sure I could get down the tiny slope to the parking lot.  OK, that's enough!

I finally made up my mind and called the office to set it up - Sept 5, the Wednesday after Labor Day.
That will give me two months to get the small bedroom cleaned out, painted, and furnished so that I can sleep there for awhile (and avoid the stairs).  Having a deadline will force me to get it done!

So this journal will be all about the journey through New Kneeland.  I'm still a little ambivalent sometimes, excited sometimes, but not yet really looking forward to it.  Give me a few bad weeks and ask me again.  I have been gathering wisdom from people who have gone before me, and I intend to make use of all of it. I also will keep swimming.  I have said that I'm swimming to keep my knee.  Now I guess I'm swimming to use it up.  :)